Touching Poetry by Andrew Dice Clay

Touching Poetry by Andrew Dice Clay

Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill,
To have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Franky.

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Said "Screw him, he's only an egg!"

Mary had a little lamb,
It ran into a pylon,
Ten thousand volts went up it's ass,
And turned it's wool to nylon!

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, (cuz he was gay).

Old Mother Hubbard,
Went to the cupboard,
To fetch her poor doggie a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Little Boy Blew.
Hey! He needed the money.

Return to Literature