Kudzu is green,
My dog's name is Blue.
And I'm so lucky,
To have a sweet thang like you.
You move like the bass,
Which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales,
But I luv you anyway.
You have all yore teeth,
For which I am proud.
I hold my head high,
When we're in a crowd.
And speakin' of wits,
You've got plenty fer shore.
'Cuz you married me,
Back in '74.
Like a good roll of duct tape,
Yo're there fer yore man.
To patch up life's troubles,
And stick 'em in the can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug,
A-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no far ant,
Upon which I oft' tread.
Cut from the best pattern,
Like a padded gunrack.
My life is complete,
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
And when you get old,
Like a '57 Chevy.
Won't put you on blocks,
And let grass grow up heavy.
Some men, they buy chocolate,
For Valentine's Day.
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.
Some men buy fine diamonds,
From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
They explain, suave and couth.
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Yore hair is like cornsilk,
A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's,
And without all them fleas.
You're as graceful as okry,
Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop,
Right out of the can.
On special occasions,
When you shave yore armpits.
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
I'm plumb outta my wits.
Still them fellers at work,
They all want to know.
What I did to deserve,
Such a purty, young doe.
Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler,
Racin' through the mud.
Yet fragile as that sanger,
Named Naomi Judd.
Like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life.
Like a Rattletrap shad,
When you hold me real tight.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie,
With a RC cold drank.
We go together,
Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men git roses,
On that special day.
From the cooler at Kroger,
"That's impressive," I say.
But for this man, honey,
These will not do.
For you are too special,
You sweet thang you.
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